Happy-ness

There is something unexplained about happiness
something intricate, and moreso confusing

Sometimes, when you’re sad yourself,
seeing other people happy only rubs the reality
of how unhappy you are in your face

you look at the happy people around you
with an expression of sadness, well-wishing, envy,
and guilt that you can’t just be happy for them,
all wrapped into one

you, yourself only want to be happy
and when it finally happens,
you’ve never been more afraid,
terrified

you can’t just accept it
can’t stop dreading the eventual loss
and the fear that you’ll never be enough.

~Misfit ~