Walls to Hell.

I’m awfully quiet of late,
Perhaps they assume I have nothing to say
But I prefer actions to words these days.
They save time.
People have always considered me as a nobody,
The dark shadows lurking behind the lockers,
I know I’m a bad person
But that’s not reason enough to see me differently,
That’s what everyone has done my whole life
I don’t need it from anyone else
I’m trying to change, but it’s not easy,
Trying to control things that are beyond me.
I’m pushing myself too far
Hoping that I don’t break myself again,
I hope this new path takes me to hell
If not my redemption.

I closed myself to the world and shut myself in my own
It’s easier to build walls and mask emotions,
Making sure to never let my guard down
It’s better to push people away than to let them in
Just so they can leave with everything you gave them,
Leaving you empty at the end.
I do self preservation to avoid getting hurt
I run away instead of facing my fears
Someday, I’ll have to admit it to somebody
but for now I’ll push the darkness inside where it belongs,
Try to push it farther down where it can’t hurt anyone else,
It’s safer that way within my walls
Walls to hell

~Misfit ~